Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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