Can Purell be used as lube?
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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