She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
