margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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