I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Randomize