I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
