kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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