In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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