Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
