I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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