put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
