my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
