Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
My ass is underappreciated
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
