your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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