he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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