Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I need moral support for this bender
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
