I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
