Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
