right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
