you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
These tits shall not be calmed
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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