i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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