you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
