I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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