If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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