im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
