I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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