Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
