I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
