i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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