You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize