Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
