Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
