a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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