you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
