so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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