i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
