You're so nebulous sometimes
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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