1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
