either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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