i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
