My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
