You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize