I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
is it fun? or sober?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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