I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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