they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
