Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
