I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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