I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
