She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
