: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
