I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Randomize