ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize