i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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