so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Sorry about my life...
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
