smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
