Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
