I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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