We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
