sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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