She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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