Kiss
Puke
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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