I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
