It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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