i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
