I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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