we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I just gargled with NyQuil
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
